So here is why I practice mindful parenting… 
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This morning began like many of those that preceded it. We wake up. I meditate. I make lunches. We make breakfast. I navigate multiple potentially volatile interactions between siblings and parents. I hustle the kids to X-country... and here is where we veered off path…

My eldest, after reminding me how much he despises x-country running, proceeds to say that he hates me. We get back into the car to go to school and he continues to fume. We park the car. He tells me that he can’t wait to move out and once again that I’m the worst mom in the world. I take a deep, glorious breath. I remind myself that this isn’t personal.

I tell my son that I get it. He’s angry because he has to do something that he hates. I get that he feels like I’m punishing him because I won’t let him quit. I remind him that we both signed up for this; he signed up to run and I signed up to volunteer. And although we may not like it, we need follow through. We cannot quit. I then said - and this is the magical mindful parenting moment - that I can take his anger. I love him so much that I will hold his frustration and anger. When he’s ready, I’ll also be here. We can talk and figure this out together. I give him a kiss on his head and tell him to “be brave, be kind, be present”.

And then he goes to school. 

One would think that this is enough for one morning, but wait for it … there’s more. 

I take my second child up to the kinder yard. I say, “be brave, be kind, be present” and he flinches. For some, unexplained reason, some incredibly “5 year old” reason, he gets upset. He begins to walk away. Well, walk is too kind a word, it’s more like a quick dash in the wrong direction. I pull him back (which sets him off even more - he’s not one to be cornered to pulled), and I tell him that I will let go when he agrees to sit down. I explain that I’m not mad. I understand that he’s angry, but we need to talk and I need him to sit. He sits. 

We chat briefly, but he can’t put into words what is making him so angry. The result?  

He gets up and darts down the street, away from school. I now have to chase him ever so cooly, coffee in hand and smiling at every parent who passes me (going the “right” direction). We wish one another a lovely morning, they see me "walking" in the wrong direction after my son, and then they give me that, “you’ve got this” head nod. 

I catch up to him and take my second glorious breath of the morning. I chug my coffee and think about how I just want to grab him and drag him into school. I play this out in my head and know this would  … not go well. So instead, I STOP (Stop. Take a breath. Observe what’s happening in my body. Proceed with kindness). 

I tell him that I put a secret surprise in his lunch (egg salad AND macaroni - his two favourites). I suggest we walk around the entire block (it’s pretty large), chat and then go to school. He begins to calm down. He grabs a stick, we talk about what will be happening after school: haircuts, play, Scouts… I continue to breathe, drink my coffee and put one foot in front of the other. 

15 minutes late, my son walks into his classroom. He gives me a kiss and tells me that he loves me. It’s as though nothing has happened! 

THIS, my friends, is why children are our best teachers. This morning, when my children threw down the gauntlet, the breaths I took created the space I needed to respond as a compassionate adult and not be drawn into their emotional chaos. Both of my children went to school knowing that their mom loved them. There were no threats. No harm was done. The consequences were natural (eldest still showed up to run and the youngest still went into school) and all it took was an extra 15 minutes of my day, two deep glorious breaths, a community that supported me with a knowing nod, and a cup of really good coffee.

What strategies are you using to keep calm? What would you have done in the same situation? I’d love to hear from you.