Mindfulness and Mindful Parenting
To understand Mindful Parenting, first we have to understand the concept and practice of Mindfulness!
What is mindfulness?
This evidenced based practice has been shown to help children and adults change their relationship to stress and suffering, as well as improve their focus and concentration, facilitate emotional regulation, develop compassion to self and others, and ameliorate social relationships (Harpin, Rossi, Kim, & Swanson, 2016).
Mindfulness is about choosing to pay attention to the present moment with a kind, open and curious mind. It encourages us to set an intention to focus on the here & now, and become authentically interested in the physical, emotional and behavioural sensations of both body and mind. It offers us a new lens through which we can see suffering, anxiety and stress, without judgement and without expectation.
By bringing kindness, openness and curiosity into the picture, we begin to see the rich textures of suffering; and in doing so, suffering shifts from being something horribly done to us, to something we can witness, breathe into and ultimately respond to with thoughtfulness and compassion!
My favourite line these days is "Pain is inevitable, suffering is optional" (made popular by Haruki Murakami,). Stress, pain, anxiety - these are all part of our daily existence. However, it's our relationship to these experiences that we can change, and mindfulness provides us with the tools to do just that (Canby, Cameron, Calhoun, & Buchanan, 2015; Davis & Hayes, 2011; Lazar et al., 2005).
How do we practice mindfulness?
Mindfulness is a daily practice. Just as eating healthy nutritious foods, sleeping and exercising makes us physically stronger, practicing daily meditation, compassion and mindful moments makes us mentally stronger! Meditation, focused attention (i.e., mindful eating), and mindful movements are just some of the ways that we can become more attuned to the present experience. To really dive into mindfulness and experience the scientifically supported benefits of the practice, check out the MBSR (Mindfulness Based Stress Reduction ) course I will be facilitating in January, 2019. Here we explore the foundations of mindfulness through practice and shared experiences. Studies tell us that practicing 30 minutes of meditation a day, over an 8 week period has the potential to change our memory, ability to learn, compassion, efficiency, focus, sleep and regulation (Donald, Atkins, Parker, Christie, & Ryan, 2016; Hölzel, Carmody, Vangel, Congleton, Yerramsetti, Gard, & Lazar, 2011). To learn more, visit my Mindfulness for Stressed Out Folks page!
Groups aren’t my thing.
Working in a group setting isn’t for everyone. If this is the case for you, I also work with clients in my home office in Old Ottawa South. Our sessions are generally an hour long (1st session is 45 minute and allows us to get to know one another) and most clients enjoy 3-6 sessions to really get their meditation practice going. As a clinician, I’m also trained in CBT, EMDR, CPS and Narrative Therapies. Once we explore the issues that you would like to work through, we will outline a mindful treatment plan that is best for you. Please visit my profile page for details.
Where do we begin?
We begin by focusing on the breath. Our breath is an incredible super power because we all have it - it's accessible, free and always available to us. By focusing on our breath, we learn to calm down, bring focus to the rest of our body and increase our attention to the broader world around us. We then talk about emotions and connect them to sensations in our body. Finally, by focusing on loving kindness and gratitude, we invite positive energy into our minds and begin to nurture our compassionate and empathic sides of self and others.
Wait, my breath is a trigger for me!
Not to worry, in the practice of working together, we’ll find the "anchor” that feels safest for you in the moment. It could be what you hear, you touch, you see, or perhaps counting or a phrase. The practice of mindfulness invites us to explore our edges and find out more about our emotional, physical, and cognitive experiences.
Isn’t meditation all about sitting in the “lotus" position and emptying my mind?
Meditation can take place sitting, standing or moving! And contrary to popular belief, it’s really about noticing what is happening in the mind - as opposed to emptying, judging or working though ideas. In fact, our mind LOVES to wander, so mindful meditation is about noticing the mind has drifted, bringing a sense of gentle curiosity to where it has drifted off to, and then compassionately bringing it back to the present moment experience or focus. It’s that simple! Except it can also be that hard as our brain likes to take us to places of worry, planning, distraction. Hence, why this is a practice! Truth is, the more we meditate and drop into focused attention, open awareness or compassionate meditation, our brain gets better at focusing attention, letting go of chasing after thoughts or worries, and being in the present moment. When we begin to feel activated and we have a solid practice of meditation, we begin to catch the sensations in our body just as they arise, notice what’s going on and then make the choice to breathe through the moment or respond in a compassionate way. This is the gift of mindful meditation.
What is mindfulness?
This evidenced based practice has been shown to help children and adults change their relationship to stress and suffering, as well as improve their focus and concentration, facilitate emotional regulation, develop compassion to self and others, and ameliorate social relationships (Harpin, Rossi, Kim, & Swanson, 2016).
Mindfulness is about choosing to pay attention to the present moment with a kind, open and curious mind. It encourages us to set an intention to focus on the here & now, and become authentically interested in the physical, emotional and behavioural sensations of both body and mind. It offers us a new lens through which we can see suffering, anxiety and stress, without judgement and without expectation.
By bringing kindness, openness and curiosity into the picture, we begin to see the rich textures of suffering; and in doing so, suffering shifts from being something horribly done to us, to something we can witness, breathe into and ultimately respond to with thoughtfulness and compassion!
My favourite line these days is "Pain is inevitable, suffering is optional" (made popular by Haruki Murakami,). Stress, pain, anxiety - these are all part of our daily existence. However, it's our relationship to these experiences that we can change, and mindfulness provides us with the tools to do just that (Canby, Cameron, Calhoun, & Buchanan, 2015; Davis & Hayes, 2011; Lazar et al., 2005).
How do we practice mindfulness?
Mindfulness is a daily practice. Just as eating healthy nutritious foods, sleeping and exercising makes us physically stronger, practicing daily meditation, compassion and mindful moments makes us mentally stronger! Meditation, focused attention (i.e., mindful eating), and mindful movements are just some of the ways that we can become more attuned to the present experience. To really dive into mindfulness and experience the scientifically supported benefits of the practice, check out the MBSR (Mindfulness Based Stress Reduction ) course I will be facilitating in January, 2019. Here we explore the foundations of mindfulness through practice and shared experiences. Studies tell us that practicing 30 minutes of meditation a day, over an 8 week period has the potential to change our memory, ability to learn, compassion, efficiency, focus, sleep and regulation (Donald, Atkins, Parker, Christie, & Ryan, 2016; Hölzel, Carmody, Vangel, Congleton, Yerramsetti, Gard, & Lazar, 2011). To learn more, visit my Mindfulness for Stressed Out Folks page!
Groups aren’t my thing.
Working in a group setting isn’t for everyone. If this is the case for you, I also work with clients in my home office in Old Ottawa South. Our sessions are generally an hour long (1st session is 45 minute and allows us to get to know one another) and most clients enjoy 3-6 sessions to really get their meditation practice going. As a clinician, I’m also trained in CBT, EMDR, CPS and Narrative Therapies. Once we explore the issues that you would like to work through, we will outline a mindful treatment plan that is best for you. Please visit my profile page for details.
Where do we begin?
We begin by focusing on the breath. Our breath is an incredible super power because we all have it - it's accessible, free and always available to us. By focusing on our breath, we learn to calm down, bring focus to the rest of our body and increase our attention to the broader world around us. We then talk about emotions and connect them to sensations in our body. Finally, by focusing on loving kindness and gratitude, we invite positive energy into our minds and begin to nurture our compassionate and empathic sides of self and others.
Wait, my breath is a trigger for me!
Not to worry, in the practice of working together, we’ll find the "anchor” that feels safest for you in the moment. It could be what you hear, you touch, you see, or perhaps counting or a phrase. The practice of mindfulness invites us to explore our edges and find out more about our emotional, physical, and cognitive experiences.
Isn’t meditation all about sitting in the “lotus" position and emptying my mind?
Meditation can take place sitting, standing or moving! And contrary to popular belief, it’s really about noticing what is happening in the mind - as opposed to emptying, judging or working though ideas. In fact, our mind LOVES to wander, so mindful meditation is about noticing the mind has drifted, bringing a sense of gentle curiosity to where it has drifted off to, and then compassionately bringing it back to the present moment experience or focus. It’s that simple! Except it can also be that hard as our brain likes to take us to places of worry, planning, distraction. Hence, why this is a practice! Truth is, the more we meditate and drop into focused attention, open awareness or compassionate meditation, our brain gets better at focusing attention, letting go of chasing after thoughts or worries, and being in the present moment. When we begin to feel activated and we have a solid practice of meditation, we begin to catch the sensations in our body just as they arise, notice what’s going on and then make the choice to breathe through the moment or respond in a compassionate way. This is the gift of mindful meditation.
Another strategy we can use to teach mindfulness is through movement (e.g., Yoga, Tai-Chi, Qi-Gong, etc.). This practice helps us to test our "edges" (what feels comfortable - what doesn't feel comfortable), explore the impact of movement on the breath, improve our focus, as well as our attention to the present moment. A child that is dancing to the rhythm is not focusing on wanting other toys or different forms of play, etc. That child is focusing on her body, the way it’s moving and the feel of her rapid breath. Children can be our best teachers on how to be fully present in the body!
How do we connect this to parenting?
The practice of mindful parenting connects what we know about mindfulness (attention, open awareness & compassion) and weaves it into our parenting practice. As a mindful parent educator, I always like to begin my teaching with the parent! When they STOP in moments of stress, mindfully listen to their children, model meditation and stillness and exemplify of connectedness and compassion, their children benefit and learn the practice more powerfully than any workshop or class that can be taught. However, more and more educators, parents, therapists, doctors and caregivers are seeing the long lasting and positive results of also teaching our little people about meditation, mindful movements and compassion based practices! In fact, studies have found that incorporating mindfulness into a daily practice decreases our children’s experiences of frustration, allows them to respond, rather than react to life's struggles, helps them to develop resilience, reduces anxiety, and ultimately change their relationship with stress (Coholic, 2011; Coholic, Eys, & Lougheed, 2012; MacDonald & Baxter, 2016; Semple, Lee, Rosa, & Miller, 2010).
I teach mindful parenting using tools like, mindful movements, breathing exercises, mindful listening, and discussions around automatic vs present parenting or doing vs being mind. I teach games that incorporate mindfulness like the Gratitude Jar, Rose & Thorn and the Pebble game. Most importantly, I teach parents and children to reconnect through touch, listening and joy.
There are so many incredible story books that discuss mindfulness, emotions and compassion. We can use many of these as starting points for fabulous discussion. Please visit my home page to see some of my favourite books for children and adults.
In short, Mindful parenting weaves together the formal practice of breathing and movement meditations, with evidenced based and practical parenting tools. This holistic approach helps parents “decrease stress and explode less!”.
I want to learn more!!
If you would like to work with me one-on-one, please contact me at (613) 706-4649, email me at info@bebravebekind.ca or book an appointment with me - I’d love to work with you!
Another strategy we can use to teach mindfulness is through movement (e.g., Yoga, Tai-Chi, Qi-Gong, etc.). This practice helps us to test our "edges" (what feels comfortable - what doesn't feel comfortable), explore the impact of movement on the breath, improve our focus, as well as our attention to the present moment. A child that is dancing to the rhythm is not focusing on wanting other toys or different forms of play, etc. That child is focusing on her body, the way it’s moving and the feel of her rapid breath. Children can be our best teachers on how to be fully present in the body!
How do we connect this to parenting?
The practice of mindful parenting connects what we know about mindfulness (attention, open awareness & compassion) and weaves it into our parenting practice. As a mindful parent educator, I always like to begin my teaching with the parent! When they STOP in moments of stress, mindfully listen to their children, model meditation and stillness and exemplify of connectedness and compassion, their children benefit and learn the practice more powerfully than any workshop or class that can be taught. However, more and more educators, parents, therapists, doctors and caregivers are seeing the long lasting and positive results of also teaching our little people about meditation, mindful movements and compassion based practices! In fact, studies have found that incorporating mindfulness into a daily practice decreases our children’s experiences of frustration, allows them to respond, rather than react to life's struggles, helps them to develop resilience, reduces anxiety, and ultimately change their relationship with stress (Coholic, 2011; Coholic, Eys, & Lougheed, 2012; MacDonald & Baxter, 2016; Semple, Lee, Rosa, & Miller, 2010).
I teach mindful parenting using tools like, mindful movements, breathing exercises, mindful listening, and discussions around automatic vs present parenting or doing vs being mind. I teach games that incorporate mindfulness like the Gratitude Jar, Rose & Thorn and the Pebble game. Most importantly, I teach parents and children to reconnect through touch, listening and joy.
There are so many incredible story books that discuss mindfulness, emotions and compassion. We can use many of these as starting points for fabulous discussion. Please visit my home page to see some of my favourite books for children and adults.
In short, Mindful parenting weaves together the formal practice of breathing and movement meditations, with evidenced based and practical parenting tools. This holistic approach helps parents “decrease stress and explode less!”.
I want to learn more!!
If you would like to work with me one-on-one, please contact me at (613) 706-4649, email me at info@bebravebekind.ca or book an appointment with me - I’d love to work with you!