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If only there was a parenting medal or something!

1/31/2018

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Let’s talk about why I LOVE mindful parenting.

Over the past couple of months, I’ve been really committed to having a formal practice of 20-30 minutes of meditation and 20 minutes of informal practice (i.e., eating mindfully, walking, etc). While my emotions still get the “better” of me time to time, today felt a little like I have hit the “finish line” (which in this practice is never “really” finished) or successfully met a significant achievement of some kind.

Let me explain.

I have had approximately 3 hours of sleep (husband had to wake up for a flight at 3:26am and I worked until 1am, but fell asleep at 4:30! ... till 6am). I had some crappy news that made my heart hurt a little. I had the privilege of herding twenty 5-7 year old children through the forest during a mini blizzard an hour after bedtime. My kids, while awesome for much of the day, topped the day off with some EPIC blow outs. And through it all... I’ve stayed calm.

It’s as though someone is playing my life in regular speed, but I’m moving in slow motion. There is a distance to all this “stress” and even though I cried when I heard the bad news, it was from a space of empathy and compassion, not fear or anger. Other than that, I felt calm. I felt in control. I felt like everything was going to be okay.

While my kids were literally throwing blows to one another upstairs, I found myself taking a breath. In the past, I would have stomped upstairs, raised my voice, told both boys to “fix it” and then throw down some threats of (sometimes, not so natural) consequences to get them back on task.

This time? Well, I calmly walked up the stairs, breathing as I went, I checked in with the sensations of my body and smiled. As I got to the top of the stairs, I described the situation (“wow, there seems to be lots of big emotions happening up here!” What’s up?). In asking what was needed, I discovered that two hugs later and a little discussion of alternatives to whacking each other on the head was enough to keep us on task for getting ready for bed. No punishments. No threats. No raised voices. Just a sense of compassion and understanding that given the late hour, we are all tired. I invited us all to practice a little self care (stories and an ice pack were needed). Voila! Kids fell asleep contented. I felt a little self-righteous in my ability to maintain control. Notwithstanding ...

THIS is why I love mindful parenting.

THIS is why I teach this practice.

This is why I get up at 6:30 every morning to meditate with my husband, even when I’m SO tired it sometimes hurts.

This commitment to practice has truly changed the way I relate to stress. If today has taught me anything, meditation has given me the skills to stay calm under the pressure of exhaustion, stress and chaos.

Mindful Parenting allows me to be the mama that I want to be.

How about you? Have you drank the “kool-aid" yet and started to meditate? If not, and if you’d like to learn more, message me. I’d really love to chat.
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Setting Intentions for 2018

1/4/2018

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’Tis the season for new beginnings, best of intentions and the start of a better “you”. If you’re like me, I LOVE new starts. I relish in writing my name in a journal for the first time. I get all giddy when I crack open a book for the very first time. On December 31st, I like to have clean sheets on my bed, a shower before going to sleep and a list of amazing and hopefully attainable goals in mind. This year, was no different. While the shower didn’t happen (we fell asleep at 10:45pm). We had clean sheets and I had cracked open my new journal. I mentioned in my last post a few of my intentions, such as giving up coffee and writing in my gratitude journal (1’000 moments of gratitude!), but I’ve added a few more: 
  1. Daily meditation of 15-30 minutes of formal practice (sitting meditation & mindful walking). 
  2. Taking a yoga class at the local community centre (there are some spectacular programs offered in ottawa that are reasonably affordable and very good). 
  3. Trying not to use my phone (to work) when my children are around.  I realized that I have to start modelling my expectations around screens and so I am going to try to work only within my business hours (9:30-3pm on weekdays). This is HARD, especially as I’m trying to market my MBSR (Mindfulness Based Stress Reduction) course that is coming up in January. However, I need to put up some boundaries between home and work. It’s too easy to pop on line to check facebook to see if someone has read my latest post or read the myriad of articles that come into my inbox.  The correlation between “mama’s increased stress/frustration about finishing things online” with “kids needing my attention” creates a very negative and mindless space. 
  4. I’m going to schedule my self care into my day. It’s going to look a little like this: 
  • 6-7am: 15-20 minute meditation and 30 minutes of mindful moving/exercise
  • 7-9: breakfast, kids, drop off 
  • 9:30-2pm: work on @bebravebekind
  • 2-3:30: prepare supper, chores
  • 3:30-8: focus on Team Roy!
  • 8-10pm: adult time! Reading & hanging out with my partner. Wednesday is date night with the family) 
  • 10pm-6am: SLEEP, blessed blessed sleep!
The practice of setting intentions is one we can’t take too lightly. This is an ambitious schedule to be sure, but the truth is, there are only a few changes to my already mindful schedule: 1) 30 minutes of exercise BEFORE 7 (i used to do it after drop off) and commitment to go to bed earlier. I feel that these are reasonable and practical, but I also promise that I will be compassionate in the actioning of them. The biggest change will be committing to work only within working hours. If you catch me online in the evening, feel free to call me on it! 

I’d love to know if you’ve set any new intentions for 2018!
xo Rebekka 


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Happy New Year everyone!

1/1/2018

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